Saturday mornings are no longer for sleeping in and cuddling. Just like Monday through Friday, I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock...BOOOOO! Last week Hayden started his dance class and ended up sitting on the bench the entire time crying. This week he strait up through a tantrum and refused to go into the room at all. Here is where most of us would be thinking: "There is a waste of money"...and normally, YES...it would be. However, I have another three year old....one who is a bit bashful but likes to have fun. So, I paid a little extra to switch from Hayden to Miriam, cause she needed a leotard, and got her into the dance class...Yay! After all of that, we were all starving and I had errands to run...so, guess what I did? I went through the drive through at JITB...but we had breakfast sandwiches only and nothing else..well, I had the meaty breakfast burrito. I figure it was one of the better choices. I said...better, not FABULOUS!...I have to build momentum ya know. Its not like quitting smoking...thank god I am past that stage....I have to psych myself up mentally to deal with changing my eating habits. It's a process people. Last night wasn't any better. Although, I ate weightwatchers dip...I had a ton of jalapeno flavored tortilla chips with it. I did only eat a small piece of cake though...I think I get a point for that...who doesnt love cake and COSTCO cake at that. I suppose I could have skipped it altogether, but I dont think I have made it to that point yet. I can't even commit to 30 minutes of workout a day and y'all want me to skip the cake right at the beginning.....pppffffttt...PUH-LEEZE...who you jokin'? Shoot. :)
Today, I plan on cleaning my computer room and getting a nice workout that way. Maybe then I will go for a walk with the kiddos. Lord know if I played a game like hopscotch with the kids it wouldnt be 1-2-3-4...it would be more like Alaska-Oregon-Idaho-Nevada....ha haha..(.well I thought it was funny.)
Tomorrow is church. I am at a place right now where I am looking forward to church on sundays again. Although, I haven't gone to church with my husband and I know he would like me to go to Mass with him, I am just not there yet. Im happy with the feeling and message I get from New Beginnings. I am going to give my weight problem to GOD tomorrow. Truly give it to him; because Cat, you are right, I think I am in control but I need to just let it go. I need to stop obsessing about it and thinking about it all the time. I'm missing out on everything else in my life by focusing on my weight and the way I look. I will only go to certain movie theaters because they have seats that the arms fold down and wont dig into my sides. I'm embarrassed for my husband to introduce me to new friends of his because I dont want people to dog him for being married to the fat lady. I gave up volunteering at the kids' schools cause I dont want the kids to tease my kids for having the fat mom. I am the one who has the issue and my family should not be punished or ridiculed because of my weight. People suck! I want to believe that inside they just are insecure about something cause it makes me feel better but truth-be-told...some people just SUCK to suck. So, now that I already had a burrito full of meat and egg and cheese, it is time for me to break a sweat and get some cleaning done.
Love you all and thank you for following me and giving me encouragement. I love you all and am truly blessed that you are all in my life one way or another.
Malisa
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